Eight tips - Listen Up! for becoming a better communicator by becoming a better listener.

Effective communication skills are critical in any business environment – especially in aircraft maintenance facilities.

Interestingly, some managers and supervisors incorrectly assume that developing strong speaking skills is all that is needed to become a better communicator. They fail to understand that listening is an important part of communication and an effective way to better understand what is going on in the workplace. Here are eight tips you can use to become a better communicator — by becoming a better listener.

1. Eliminate distractions

Distractions can be barriers to effective listening. Aircraft maintenance facilities are typically distracting work environments by nature. Try to avoid communicating in distracting places. If that is not possible, realize that extra concentration will be needed to ensure the message is being heard.

Eric Herrenkohl, a management consultant, says we also need to eliminate electronic distractions when listening. “Step away from your computer (and your Blackberry),” stresses Herrenkohl. “People like being heard because it makes them feel respected. Insisting on multi-tasking (aka being rude) while others are talking is a sure way to create resentment.”

2. Stop talking

 It may seem simple, but to become a better listener you need to stop talking. Noah St. John, Ph.D. says to become a better listener, you first need to shut up! “Nothing spells success like being a good listener. And nothing shouts ‘loser’ like someone who can’t shut up about themselves,” says St. John. He adds, “Become the one person in a thousand who is secure enough in themselves to listen to others without the need to ‘top’ the other person’s story.”

3. Don’t debate

Workplace communication should provide a forum for information exchange. Don’t allow negative emotions like anger or resentment to come into play. Workplace communication isn’t a debate, so don’t treat it as such. Doing so can create a barrier to effective communication. Herrenkohl explains. “Don’t turn conversations with your staff into a debate. This is a classic situation in which winning (the debate) equates to losing (the emotional engagement of the other person). Periodically get feedback on what you hear the other person saying. In other words, repeat what you have heard the other person say in order to make sure you have heard him correctly. If you are sincere in this effort, it works every time. Ask the other person for next actions. Just because you are listening does not mean the other person is right. After the person has said his peace, ask him what he thinks the next actions should be. Then, respond and provide suggestions for what you think might be a good course of action.”

4. Empathize

Empathy is identifying with and understanding another’s feelings, situation and motives. If we use empathy when listening to others, we can better understand what they are trying to communicate. Donna Flag, a workplace expert and president of The Krysalis Group, a management consulting firm, offers the following advice. “Ask yourself, ‘Do I understand what the other person is saying — from his or her own perspective and not mine? Am I truly responding to the accurate content of what someone said, or a, I responding to my own need to push my agenda?”

Dr. St. John tells D.O.M.that by empathizing with others, we are giving them “emotional oxygen.” He shares, “when you seek to understand another person from their point of view, you are giving them emotional oxygen. Just as the core need of the human body is to breathe, the deepest craving of the human soul is to be understood. Yet, the feeling of being deeply understood is the one least felt by people in modern society.”

5. Use your six serving men

Dr. St. John offers the following advice for D.O.M. readers — use your six serving men. He explains. “Rudyard Kipling wrote, ‘I keep six honest serving-men (they taught me all I know); their names are What and Why and When and How and Where and Who.’

Don’t ask closed-ended questions that can be answered with a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ Ask questions that begin with the six serving men because they make the other person really think, which will elicit deeper answers and greater rapport.”

6. Beware of non-verbal cues

When you are listening, devote all of your attention to the speaker. Certain non-verbal cues can quickly alert the speaker that you are not interested in what they have to say. Bea Fields, author of Edge: A Leadership Storyand president of Bea Fields Companies, Inc. shares. “Work on your non-verbal cues. Do you roll your eyes, look at your watch, or look around at the environment while you are listening?”

An easy way to avoid negative non-verbal cues is to genuinely listen to what is being said. Avoid using gimmicks to appear interested. Amie Devero, author of Powered by Principleand founder of The Devero Group, a consulting firm specializing in strategy, explains. “Most communication training focuses on ways of ‘seeming to be listening’ rather than on the motivation and psychology needed to actually listen. The better approach is to genuinely alter one’s perspective from (e.g.) disinterest, or a personal agenda, to real, avid curiosity. This is often the hardest thing for managers and executives to do. But when we are genuinely interested and curious it is obvious — then we naturally nod, repeat, ask questions, keep eye focus, and so forth. Authenticity is what really works — not gimmicks.”

7. Overlook trigger words

Sometimes in the course of conversation, certain words might be said that can trigger an emotional response. Avoid letting these trigger words affect the conversation. Dianna Booher, author of Communicate with Confidenceand CEO of Booher Consultants, a communication training firm, explains. “Overlook ‘trigger’ words to get to the real message. When you hear emotional words, derogatory words, profanity, or politically motivated words, try to get past them to the real message: bureaucrat, lazy, windbag, unfair, negligence. If you get hung up on the speaker’s word choice, you may miss the primary message. Hear the person out. Then you can always go back and correct the word choice mentally.”

8. Practice

As with any skill, becoming a better listener takes practice. If you are aware of what it takes to be a better listener and practice good listening skills at every opportunity, the habit becomes ingrained and you naturally develop your listening skills.

So what are you waiting for? Make an effort to become a better listener in order to become a better communicator.